Search Result for “Art”
Scientist Plans To Create More Hot Women
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Renegade geneticist Frank Anderson told the San Francisco Weekly that attractive women are the most desirable animal on the planet and that we need more of them. “Most human beings are extremely ugly,” Anderson said. “I’m so sick of looking at them. Hot women make the world so
Fetus Using Mother’s Voice To Speak
PHOENIX, Arizona – Kendall Gastin claims she often loses control over her voice to the baby inside her. The fetus first took over her voice box when she was 2 weeks pregnant. “First time the baby spoke through me in its tiny baby voice,” Gastin said. “It said, ‘Mommy, you must have people get me everything I ask for,’ which
Murder Suspect Tries To Pin Killings On A Monster
WACO, Texas – Mercy Stayson, representing himself in court, brought a peculiar defense to his murder trial by blaming the violent killings of an elderly couple, John and Melinda Orr, on a monster. Mercy, who lived across the street from the Orr’s, said he saw a hairy, fanged 15 ft monster enter the couple’s home through
Mother Arrested For Cutting Off Baby’s Hands
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — A 19-year-old mother was arrested for cutting the hands off her 2-year-old daughter Thursday night. According to the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office, Alena Smith used a steak knife to cut off her daughter’s hands after the young girl continued to ‘pick her nose and eat her boogers” and then ‘made funny faces’ at her.” Investigators say a
Fred Phelps Statue Going Into Kansas Park
TOPEKA, Kansas – The Westboro Baptist Church just won’t stop making trouble, or being stupid. The controversial church purchased a small plot of land on the edge of Chesney Park in Topeka, Kansas and will erect a statue of their deceased founder, Fred Phelps. City leaders are helpless as there are no
Taco Bell Opening In Catholic Churches
IRVINE, California – Taco Bell and the Catholic Church have entered into an agreement to put Taco Bell restaurants inside select Catholic churches in Mexico. The Catholic Church reportedly will receive a percentage of gross sales and Taco Bell hopes to gain the trust factor the Catholic Church brings. Above: Taco Bell being built
Mailman Busted With 75,000 Stolen Netflix DVDs
AUSTIN, Texas – A 20-year veteran of the U.S. Postal Office, Casey Brown, 44, was arrested Monday morning when federal agents raided his Austin apartment recovering 75,000 stolen Netflix DVDs. Brown had been pilfering DVDs since Netflix started its once popular home DVD delivery service. Police wouldn’t detail how they caught Brown other than it involved an elaborate surveillance effort including
Idaho Man Using Pet Tiger To Hunt Deer
IDAHO FALLS – Winter campers, Tom and Mellisa Elbert, received a shock when they saw a Siberian tiger chasing a deer through the woods in eastern Idaho. The young couple had snow-shoed into the Idaho side of the Teton Mountains and were sitting in their camp when the tiger ran by chasing the deer. The deer and
Grocery Chain Hires Sexy Cashiers To “Boost Lagging Sales”
PHOENIX, Arizona – Gastin’s Grocery, located in the Phoenix suburb of Gilbert, has been struggling against grocery giants like Walmart and Albertsons in recent years. With sales down 30% this past year CEO Ryan Gastin knew something critical had to be done. That is when he took a hard look at his employees and noticed most were
Hunters “Mercy Killed” 12,000 Starving Ducks
MINOT, North Dakota – North Dakota hunters killed over 12,000 ducks last week near Minot as part of what they called “a mercy killing.” “Due to unusually cold weather the ducks were having trouble finding food,” United States Fish & Wildlife spokesman Newt Gastin said. “These hunters took it upon themselves to