Brad Lee Davis, 34, pled guilty to manslaughter this week according to the Oklahoma Times for killing his stepfather with an ‘atomic wedgie.’ An atomic wedgie is the slang name for an extreme version of the common underwear-yanking prank that bullies are known to use in schools across America. The victim,

MADISON, West Virginia – Boone County resident, Jasper June, 72, was arrested today on felony charges of manufacturing and distributing homemade “energy drinks” containing the powerful stimulate methamphetamine. The Boone County drug task force raided June’s tree fort (June lives in 200 sq. ft. tree fort on his brother’s property)

AUSTIN, Texas – Top Right News reported a Texas man, unable to work because of his pregnancy, successfully applied for and received public assistance. He is allegedly earning $3,500 per month plus food subsidies and free medical services. Adam Smith, 42, seems to have been the lucky recipient of poor bureaucratic oversight, a clerical error or extremely lax standards. Texas officials have yet to

CLEVELAND, Ohio – Adam Moulson kidnapped an unidentified African-American woman this morning, but was quickly apprehended by police after he crashed his red Volkswagen Beetle into, ironically, another red Volkswagen Beetle while trying to get away. “He enticed the woman with a large candy cane,” an officer with Cleveland Police said. “Once the victim was near his window he threw

SEATTLE – A Seattle man, who says he is Kurt Cobain, claims he did not die by a self-inflicted gunshot wound on April 5th, 1994. “It [suicide] was a way to get the media attention and all the stupid fans off my back so I could live in peace,” Cobain said. “But now I

SAN JOSE – The Tate Institute was formed by Jim Tate, a gay San Jose, California relationship counselor who wanted to help heterosexuals become homosexuals. The idea was sparked when Jim Tate saw reparative therapy clinics attempting to turn homosexuals straight. “I saw reparative therapy and thought if they are having so much success… why can’t I do the

PHOENIX, Arizona – Gastin’s Grocery, located in the Phoenix suburb of Gilbert, has been struggling against grocery giants like Walmart and Albertsons in recent years. With sales down 30% this past year CEO Ryan Gastin knew something critical had to be done. That is when he took a hard look at his employees and noticed most were

FLINT, Michigan –   46-year old Randolf Turner, manager of a Wendy’s restaurant in Michigan, is accused of stealing more than 32 tons of bacon from his employer over the last four years. The man intercepted 20 to 250 kilograms of meat per week from shipments destined to his restaurant. The

MINOT, North Dakota – North Dakota hunters killed over 12,000 ducks last week near Minot as part of what they called “a mercy killing.” “Due to unusually cold weather the ducks were having trouble finding food,” United States Fish & Wildlife spokesman Newt Gastin said. “These hunters took it upon themselves to

The United States and China are in serious talks to build a 288 lane tunnel from San Francisco to Shanghai. This will be the greatest engineering feat in the history of humankind taking eighteen years to construct and, if approved, opening spring of 2035. “This is a great opportunity for