By Kelly Broich Originally published as satire on Moron.com in 2015 Republished here to reflect original authorship and public record JACKSONVILLE, Florida – Geoff Gaylord, 37, entered the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office earlier today and turned himself in for killing his imaginary friend — Mr. Happy. Gaylord told officers he had

Alexa from Jacksonville, Florida emailed this to us: I thought you guys would find this funny. My 82-year-old mom and I live in a one-bedroom apartment and share a bunk bed. She’s on the bottom bunk. I’m on the top — so I hear a lot of the crazy ass stuff she says in her sleep.

AUSTIN, Texas – Top Right News reported a Texas man, unable to work because of his pregnancy, successfully applied for and received public assistance. He is allegedly earning $3,500 per month plus food subsidies and free medical services. Adam Smith, 42, seems to have been the lucky recipient of poor bureaucratic oversight, a clerical error or extremely lax standards. Texas officials have yet to

COLORADO SPRINGS – Buck Dobson knows what it is like to suffer at the hands of pedophile. He was repeatedly molested at age 10 by his 19-year-old-sister and says the scars have never healed. However, the abuse inspired Dobson to spend most of his adult life working to cure pedophilia. For years, Dobson tried to rehabilitate

CLEVELAND, Ohio – Adam Moulson kidnapped an unidentified African-American woman this morning, but was quickly apprehended by police after he crashed his red Volkswagen Beetle into, ironically, another red Volkswagen Beetle while trying to get away. “He enticed the woman with a large candy cane,” an officer with Cleveland Police said. “Once the victim was near his window he threw

Baton Rouge, Louisiana – A 27-year-old woman was pulled over early morning due to a speeding violation. When Natasha Brown acted in a very suspicious manner officers decided to search her vehicle where they discovered $60,000 in cash. When officers asked her why she had such a large amount of

SEATTLE – A Seattle man, who says he is Kurt Cobain, claims he did not die by a self-inflicted gunshot wound on April 5th, 1994. “It [suicide] was a way to get the media attention and all the stupid fans off my back so I could live in peace,” Cobain said. “But now I

SAN JOSE – The Tate Institute was formed by Jim Tate, a gay San Jose, California relationship counselor who wanted to help heterosexuals become homosexuals. The idea was sparked when Jim Tate saw reparative therapy clinics attempting to turn homosexuals straight. “I saw reparative therapy and thought if they are having so much success… why can’t I do the

AUSTIN, Texas – A 20-year veteran of the U.S. Postal Office, Casey Brown, 44, was arrested Monday morning when federal agents raided his Austin apartment recovering 75,000 stolen Netflix DVDs. Brown had been pilfering DVDs since Netflix started its once popular home DVD delivery service. Police wouldn’t detail how they caught Brown other than it involved an elaborate surveillance effort including

IDAHO FALLS – Winter campers, Tom and Mellisa Elbert, received a shock when they saw a Siberian tiger chasing a deer through the woods in eastern Idaho. The young couple had snow-shoed into the Idaho side of the Teton Mountains and were sitting in their camp when the tiger ran by chasing the deer. The deer and