JACKSONVILLE, Florida – Tito and Amanda Watts were arrested over the weekend for selling “golden tickets to heaven” to hundreds of people. The couple, who sold the tickets on the street for $99.99 per ticket, told buyers the tickets were made from solid gold and each ticket reserved the buyer a spot in heaven —

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Renegade geneticist Frank Anderson told the San Francisco Weekly that attractive women are the most desirable animal on the planet and that we need more of them. “Most human beings are extremely ugly,” Anderson said. “I’m so sick of looking at them. Hot women make the world so

SEATTLE – A Seattle man, who says he is Kurt Cobain, claims he did not die by a self-inflicted gunshot wound on April 5th, 1994. “It [suicide] was a way to get the media attention and all the stupid fans off my back so I could live in peace,” Cobain said. “But now I

PHOENIX, Arizona – Kendall Gastin claims she often loses control over her voice to the baby inside her. The fetus first took over her voice box when she was 2 weeks pregnant. “First time the baby spoke through me in its tiny baby voice,” Gastin said. “It said, ‘Mommy, you must have people get me everything I ask for,’ which

WACO, Texas – Mercy Stayson, representing himself in court, brought a peculiar defense to his murder trial by blaming the violent killings of an elderly couple, John and Melinda Orr, on a monster. Mercy, who lived across the street from the Orr’s, said he saw a hairy, fanged 15 ft monster enter the couple’s home through

SAN JOSE – The Tate Institute was formed by Jim Tate, a gay San Jose, California relationship counselor who wanted to help heterosexuals become homosexuals. The idea was sparked when Jim Tate saw reparative therapy clinics attempting to turn homosexuals straight. “I saw reparative therapy and thought if they are having so much success… why can’t I do the

ST. PETERSBURG, Florida – Derek Mishov married himself last night in a Florida bowling alley with his daughter, parents and a small group of supportive friends attending the ceremony performed by his uncle. While the marriage won’t be recognized by the State of Florida, Mishov plans to challenge current marriage laws until it is.

IDAHO FALLS – Winter campers, Tom and Mellisa Elbert, received a shock when they saw a Siberian tiger chasing a deer through the woods in eastern Idaho. The young couple had snow-shoed into the Idaho side of the Teton Mountains and were sitting in their camp when the tiger ran by chasing the deer. The deer and

FLINT, Michigan –   46-year old Randolf Turner, manager of a Wendy’s restaurant in Michigan, is accused of stealing more than 32 tons of bacon from his employer over the last four years. The man intercepted 20 to 250 kilograms of meat per week from shipments destined to his restaurant. The

MINOT, North Dakota – North Dakota hunters killed over 12,000 ducks last week near Minot as part of what they called “a mercy killing.” “Due to unusually cold weather the ducks were having trouble finding food,” United States Fish & Wildlife spokesman Newt Gastin said. “These hunters took it upon themselves to