Last winter, Bob Smith (not his real name), decided he needed to cut his hand off. He walked into his garage, grabbed a power saw, placed his wrist on a two by four and buzzed the hand off. Doctors attempted to reattach the hand, but there were numerous complications which made the surgery impossible. Bob says he cut off his

FRESNO, California – Jamal Jafreese is becoming a more frequent sighting in Fresno, California. He walks the streets with a ‘jive swagger,’ speaks in Ebonics and tries to make friends with black people. Jafreese recently tried to join a local chapter of The Bloods street gang, according to underground zine, The Street.

MARTIN COUNTY, Florida — Gary Linman of Hobe Sound, Florida really needed a ride home. He dialed 911 from a payphone (they sill have those?) to get that ride. —— 911 call transcript: 911: 911. What’s your emergency? Linman: This 911? 911: Yes. How may I help you? Linman: I got an emergencies. I

So, this looks like a pretty sweet deal….  who doesn’t need a few empty booze bottles filled with gasoline? And the prices are reasonable as well. Notice he’s listed the bottles of gas in the jewelry section. And the condition of the items are listed as like new. Ad: Hi, I gota

CHICAGO — Dang Thomas was only complaining about his hatred for pie on Facebook, but his three innocent little words cost him his job. Above: Thomas explains his firing to CAN TV Thomas, who works as a forklift operator at Horner Lumber Distributers in Chicago, arrived at work Friday morning and was surprised when he learned he had been fired by his boss,

This is a transcribed letter that was found bobbing in a wine bottle in Lake Butler (Florida) by a snorkeler. DEAR MERMAID: I have loved you since the day I caught you fishing. I’m still sorry for making your lip bleed with the hook and hope it healed well — no scars!! But I

Moron.com:  You realize this is moron.com and readers will probably think you’re a moron, right? Unique: Yeah. Moron.com: Your name is really Unique? Unique: Yeah. Moron.com: That’s unique. Unique: Never heard that one before. Hardy har har. Moron.com: Why did you have sex with a Cabbage Patch Kid? Unique: I

Football fans demonstrate craziness and idiot-ness time and again, but these morons are right up there with the worst. A fan, upset by the league’s fining the Patriots $1 million for their “more probable than not” role in deflating footballs, has decided to pass the cap. A GoFundMe.com site has been

Brad Lee Davis, 34, pled guilty to manslaughter this week according to the Oklahoma Times for killing his stepfather with an ‘atomic wedgie.’ An atomic wedgie is the slang name for an extreme version of the common underwear-yanking prank that bullies are known to use in schools across America. The victim,

Robert Panel feels women should be LEGALLY required to wear dresses. Obviously, there isn’t a lawmaker in the United States who would get behind legislation forcing women to wear dresses, but this is what he wants to see happen anyway. We talked to Mr. Panel via Skype to discover the reasons why he holds this belief: 1. Women Look Sexy In