Search Result for “down”

Robert Panel feels women should be LEGALLY required to wear dresses. Obviously, there isn’t a lawmaker in the United States who would get behind legislation forcing women to wear dresses, but this is what he wants to see happen anyway. We talked to Mr. Panel via Skype to discover the reasons why he holds this belief: 1. Women Look Sexy In
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By Kelly Broich Originally published as satire on Moron.com in 2015 Republished here to reflect original authorship and public record JACKSONVILLE, Florida – Geoff Gaylord, 37, entered the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office earlier today and turned himself in for killing his imaginary friend — Mr. Happy. Gaylord told officers he had
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WACO, Texas – Mercy Stayson, representing himself in court, brought a peculiar defense to his murder trial by blaming the violent killings of an elderly couple, John and Melinda Orr, on a monster. Mercy, who lived across the street from the Orr’s, said he saw a hairy, fanged 15 ft monster enter the couple’s home through
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IDAHO FALLS – Winter campers, Tom and Mellisa Elbert, received a shock when they saw a Siberian tiger chasing a deer through the woods in eastern Idaho. The young couple had snow-shoed into the Idaho side of the Teton Mountains and were sitting in their camp when the tiger ran by chasing the deer. The deer and
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PHOENIX, Arizona – Gastin’s Grocery, located in the Phoenix suburb of Gilbert, has been struggling against grocery giants like Walmart and Albertsons in recent years. With sales down 30% this past year CEO Ryan Gastin knew something critical had to be done. That is when he took a hard look at his employees and noticed most were
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BUFFALO – Early Monday morning Buffalo police detained and released 72 homeless citizens for building an “apartment building” in a wooded area on the outskirts of the city. The structure in its current state of development would have housed 25 people. Full build-out, the “foreman” said, was expected to have housed 280. “The structure was a
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