CLEVELAND, Ohio – Adam Moulson kidnapped an unidentified African-American woman this morning, but was quickly apprehended by police after he crashed his red Volkswagen Beetle into, ironically, another red Volkswagen Beetle while trying to get away. “He enticed the woman with a large candy cane,” an officer with Cleveland Police said. “Once the victim was near his window he threw

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Renegade geneticist Frank Anderson told the San Francisco Weekly that attractive women are the most desirable animal on the planet and that we need more of them. “Most human beings are extremely ugly,” Anderson said. “I’m so sick of looking at them. Hot women make the world so

LOS ANGELES, California – Realtor Jon Base loves beautiful people, so much so, that is all he wants to see… at least, as much as possible. He and real estate development company, Painted Hills, Inc, plan to create a planned community in Los Angeles that only allows attractive residents. But is this legal?

ST. PETERSBURG, Florida – Derek Mishov married himself last night in a Florida bowling alley with his daughter, parents and a small group of supportive friends attending the ceremony performed by his uncle. While the marriage won’t be recognized by the State of Florida, Mishov plans to challenge current marriage laws until it is.

AUSTIN, Texas – A 20-year veteran of the U.S. Postal Office, Casey Brown, 44, was arrested Monday morning when federal agents raided his Austin apartment recovering 75,000 stolen Netflix DVDs. Brown had been pilfering DVDs since Netflix started its once popular home DVD delivery service. Police wouldn’t detail how they caught Brown other than it involved an elaborate surveillance effort including

LOS ANGELES – Inside, it’s a charming cafe done in yellow and pink with off-kilter menu selections like peanut butter banana chocolate waffles, little princess pink lemonade cupcakes and cucumber raisin cinnamon ice cream. However, on the outside, the charm gives way to controversy. The name of the eatery? No Illegals

BOSTON – There has been a huge demand over the years from pet owners to keep puppies and kittens cute and little forever. Sizere Pharmaceuticals of Boston have stepped up to fill that demand. For over ten years researches at the company have been developing a drug that successfully eliminates growth hormones in canines and felines. After

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Don’t mess with 33-year-old Melissa Dawn Sellers’ meatballs, she takes her Italian cuisine very seriously as her 42-year-old roommate Carlos Ortiz Jr found out. After a night of drinking, the two roommates began fighting at around 2:30 a.m. The two were arguing because apparently Carlos threw out Melissa’s spaghetti and