GUILFORD TOWNSHIP — Pennsylvania State Police, Chambersburg, said officers responded at 12:08 a.m. to the 1700 block of LWE for a report that three women were speeding down U.S. 30 on Walmart scooters. Police chased the three women into the parking lot of a Super Shoes where the women abandoned the

SENOIA, GA KCT5 News reported that a Georgia man, John Paul Jones, Jr, didn’t accidently plow his truck into his house because his foot slipped off the gas pedal. He did it on purpose. “I don’t know, it was just one of those spur of the moment crazy things,” said Jones. Jones is a

SARASOTA, Fla. — Timothy Bontrager, 29, has been charged with felony burglary of an occupied dwelling after breaking into a home, filling a pillow case with jewelry and ‘pet toys’ and then falling asleep in a running shower. The homeowner told police she heard the water running in her guest bathroom around

This is a transcribed letter that was found bobbing in a wine bottle in Lake Butler (Florida) by a snorkeler. DEAR MERMAID: I have loved you since the day I caught you fishing. I’m still sorry for making your lip bleed with the hook and hope it healed well — no scars!! But I

Football fans demonstrate craziness and idiot-ness time and again, but these morons are right up there with the worst. A fan, upset by the league’s fining the Patriots $1 million for their “more probable than not” role in deflating footballs, has decided to pass the cap. A GoFundMe.com site has been

Robert Panel feels women should be LEGALLY required to wear dresses. Obviously, there isn’t a lawmaker in the United States who would get behind legislation forcing women to wear dresses, but this is what he wants to see happen anyway. We talked to Mr. Panel via Skype to discover the reasons why he holds this belief: 1. Women Look Sexy In

By Kelly Broich Originally published as satire on Moron.com in 2015 Republished here to reflect original authorship and public record JACKSONVILLE, Florida – Geoff Gaylord, 37, entered the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office earlier today and turned himself in for killing his imaginary friend — Mr. Happy. Gaylord told officers he had

Alexa from Jacksonville, Florida emailed this to us: I thought you guys would find this funny. My 82-year-old mom and I live in a one-bedroom apartment and share a bunk bed. She’s on the bottom bunk. I’m on the top — so I hear a lot of the crazy ass stuff she says in her sleep.

MADISON, West Virginia – Boone County resident, Jasper June, 72, was arrested today on felony charges of manufacturing and distributing homemade “energy drinks” containing the powerful stimulate methamphetamine. The Boone County drug task force raided June’s tree fort (June lives in 200 sq. ft. tree fort on his brother’s property)

AUSTIN, Texas – Top Right News reported a Texas man, unable to work because of his pregnancy, successfully applied for and received public assistance. He is allegedly earning $3,500 per month plus food subsidies and free medical services. Adam Smith, 42, seems to have been the lucky recipient of poor bureaucratic oversight, a clerical error or extremely lax standards. Texas officials have yet to