By Kelly Broich Originally published as satire on Moron.com in 2015 Republished here to reflect original authorship and public record JACKSONVILLE, Florida – Jeff Waters walked into a Bank of America Monday morning and attempted to cash a check for $368,000,000,000 dollars. The check Waters had written to ‘Cash’ was

CHICAGO – Chicago police were called to a home after a 911 call to find a woman hitting herself in the head with a crowbar. When two officers tried to calm Jenny Peak, 33, she dropped the crowbar and started running her head into a living room wall. Peak then

AUGUSTA, Georgia — A Georgia woman, Tabithia Lee Grooms, 35, attacked her live-in boyfriend and her 66-year-old mother after her boyfriend refused to have sex with her earlier in the day, a Richmond County Sheriff’s report said. Upset over getting no action, Grooms went out drinking and when she came

Pumping your arms full of oil has become a new and quick way to get muscles and become popular in Brazil. One young guy did it and fell into massive pain and had to have his bicep cut open by a doctor and the fluid drained out. It’s unknown if any

Like eating a lot? Hate dieting? Exercise a bother? Now you can pound those 20 Big Macs worry-free thanks to the AspireAssist®. This device literally sucks the food from your stomach before the food is processed into calories. Here’s how it works: You have a permanent hole cut into your

MOBILE, Alabama — With gay marriage now legal in all 50 states and rainbow flags (the universal symbol for gay pride) flying all over the country, one man who makes it a point to destroy every rainbow flag and spray paint over rainbow bumper stickers he sees, now wants to

MIMS, Fla. — Police said a man wanted to check if there was a bullet still in the chamber of his gun, so he put it to his head and pulled the trigger. Authorities say 49-year-old Charles Cooper shot himself at 1:50 a.m. Sunday during a weekend fishing trip and

A Chinese company, Guangzhou Hongyi Toy Manufacturing, has released a 5′ 9in “Sexy Inflatable Girl Pony” that looks like Rainbow Dash, the popular My Little Pony character, but with enhanced features (see photos). You can buy a horse doll for $599, unless, of course, you want to buy in bulk,

BRADENTON, Florida — Bradenton police say a woman has been charged with photographing herself having sex with a dog. Police discovered Ashley L. Miller, 18, “had explicit photographs of her and a canine stored on her phone,” a news release states. “Mrs. Miller was interviewed and Mrs. Miller confessed that

ACWORTH, Georgia — The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported that a Georgia man, Anthony Gerald Dunton, was arrested on four felony charges of aggravated assault for putting Roundup weed killer in his co-workers’s water bottle on several occasions. Dunton’s co-worker noticed that his water “tasted funky and had a strange foam on