Last winter, Bob Smith (not his real name), decided he needed to cut his hand off. He walked into his garage, grabbed a power saw, placed his wrist on a two by four and buzzed the hand off. Doctors attempted to reattach the hand, but there were numerous complications which made the surgery impossible. Bob says he cut off his

LOS ANGELES — While most of the world struggles to afford the basic necessities to live a happy life, some rich clown is building a home he plans to sell for a record-shattering $500,000,0000. Once complete, the house will be 100,000 sq ft. The master bedroom alone will be 5,000 sq. ft. The home

SACRAMENTO, California — Sheryl Anderson, 44, said she wants the State of California to send her Ken Doll to prison for domestic violence. She has owned the Ken doll for two years and claims the male Barbie doll has a severe drug and alcohol problem and frequently “scratches her” when angry. “Ken gets absolutely loaded on Bud Light and marijuana and just

FRESNO, California – Jamal Jafreese is becoming a more frequent sighting in Fresno, California. He walks the streets with a ‘jive swagger,’ speaks in Ebonics and tries to make friends with black people. Jafreese recently tried to join a local chapter of The Bloods street gang, according to underground zine, The Street.

NORMAN, Oklahoma – Gene Bibles dropped out of Norman High School in 1951 because he could not stand learning. “There’s something about trying to learn stuff that is just unappealing to me,” Bibles told Saturday Magazine. “It gives me nosebleeds.” Gene also knew he never wanted to work. “I find work unpleasant,” Bibles said.

MARTIN COUNTY, Florida — Gary Linman of Hobe Sound, Florida really needed a ride home. He dialed 911 from a payphone (they sill have those?) to get that ride. —— 911 call transcript: 911: 911. What’s your emergency? Linman: This 911? 911: Yes. How may I help you? Linman: I got an emergencies. I

PALM BEACH, Florida – The Gontchar family loved the 11 Muscovy ducklings that lived near their home in Wellington, Florida. They fed them daily and uploaded hundreds of photographs to social media websites. “They were a joy in our life,” Laura Gontchar told the Palm Beach Post. “So cute and happy. So full

CHICAGO — Dang Thomas was only complaining about his hatred for pie on Facebook, but his three innocent little words cost him his job. Above: Thomas explains his firing to CAN TV Thomas, who works as a forklift operator at Horner Lumber Distributers in Chicago, arrived at work Friday morning and was surprised when he learned he had been fired by his boss,

SARASOTA, Fla. — Timothy Bontrager, 29, has been charged with felony burglary of an occupied dwelling after breaking into a home, filling a pillow case with jewelry and ‘pet toys’ and then falling asleep in a running shower. The homeowner told police she heard the water running in her guest bathroom around

This is a transcribed letter that was found bobbing in a wine bottle in Lake Butler (Florida) by a snorkeler. DEAR MERMAID: I have loved you since the day I caught you fishing. I’m still sorry for making your lip bleed with the hook and hope it healed well — no scars!! But I