Search Result for “take”
Michigan woman claims she lost virginity to a Cabbage Patch Kid
Moron.com: You realize this is moron.com and readers will probably think you’re a moron, right? Unique: Yeah. Moron.com: Your name is really Unique? Unique: Yeah. Moron.com: That’s unique. Unique: Never heard that one before. Hardy har har. Moron.com: Why did you have sex with a Cabbage Patch Kid? Unique: I
4 Reasons Women Should Only Be Allowed To Wear Dresses
Robert Panel feels women should be LEGALLY required to wear dresses. Obviously, there isn’t a lawmaker in the United States who would get behind legislation forcing women to wear dresses, but this is what he wants to see happen anyway. We talked to Mr. Panel via Skype to discover the reasons why he holds this belief: 1. Women Look Sexy In
Woman Lists All The Hilarious Things Her Sleep-Talking Mother Says And She Sounds Mental
Alexa from Jacksonville, Florida emailed this to us: I thought you guys would find this funny. My 82-year-old mom and I live in a one-bedroom apartment and share a bunk bed. She’s on the bottom bunk. I’m on the top — so I hear a lot of the crazy ass stuff she says in her sleep.
Man Kidnaps Woman As ‘Early Christmas Present’ To Himself
CLEVELAND, Ohio – Adam Moulson kidnapped an unidentified African-American woman this morning, but was quickly apprehended by police after he crashed his red Volkswagen Beetle into, ironically, another red Volkswagen Beetle while trying to get away. “He enticed the woman with a large candy cane,” an officer with Cleveland Police said. “Once the victim was near his window he threw
Woman Makes $10,000 A Month Asking “Boyfriends” For Abortion Money
Baton Rouge, Louisiana – A 27-year-old woman was pulled over early morning due to a speeding violation. When Natasha Brown acted in a very suspicious manner officers decided to search her vehicle where they discovered $60,000 in cash. When officers asked her why she had such a large amount of
Couple Arrested For Selling “Golden Tickets To Heaven”
JACKSONVILLE, Florida – Tito and Amanda Watts were arrested over the weekend for selling “golden tickets to heaven” to hundreds of people. The couple, who sold the tickets on the street for $99.99 per ticket, told buyers the tickets were made from solid gold and each ticket reserved the buyer a spot in heaven —
Counselor Turning Straight People Into Homosexuals
SAN JOSE – The Tate Institute was formed by Jim Tate, a gay San Jose, California relationship counselor who wanted to help heterosexuals become homosexuals. The idea was sparked when Jim Tate saw reparative therapy clinics attempting to turn homosexuals straight. “I saw reparative therapy and thought if they are having so much success… why can’t I do the
Mother Arrested For Cutting Off Baby’s Hands
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — A 19-year-old mother was arrested for cutting the hands off her 2-year-old daughter Thursday night. According to the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office, Alena Smith used a steak knife to cut off her daughter’s hands after the young girl continued to ‘pick her nose and eat her boogers” and then ‘made funny faces’ at her.” Investigators say a
500-Year-Old Alligator (Oldest Animal On Earth) Killed In Mississippi
Vicksburg – Rupert the Alligator, who weighed a whopping 1700 lbs, was the oldest known animal on planet earth at nearly 500 years old. Last week, he accidently escaped from a sanctuary who houses old or ailing animals and, unfortunately, Rupert decided to take refuge under a children’s trampoline in the backyard of
Hunters “Mercy Killed” 12,000 Starving Ducks
MINOT, North Dakota – North Dakota hunters killed over 12,000 ducks last week near Minot as part of what they called “a mercy killing.” “Due to unusually cold weather the ducks were having trouble finding food,” United States Fish & Wildlife spokesman Newt Gastin said. “These hunters took it upon themselves to