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4 Things I Learned After Cutting My Own Hand Off
Last winter, Bob Smith (not his real name), decided he needed to cut his hand off. He walked into his garage, grabbed a power saw, placed his wrist on a two by four and buzzed the hand off. Doctors attempted to reattach the hand, but there were numerous complications which made the surgery impossible. Bob says he cut off his
Florida man ran over a family of ducklings with lawnmower on purpose
PALM BEACH, Florida – The Gontchar family loved the 11 Muscovy ducklings that lived near their home in Wellington, Florida. They fed them daily and uploaded hundreds of photographs to social media websites. “They were a joy in our life,” Laura Gontchar told the Palm Beach Post. “So cute and happy. So full
Woman Arrested For Biting Off Pit Bull’s Testicles
MADISON, West Virginia – Witnesses told police this week that they pleaded with Boone county resident, Audrey Ranch, 62, to stop hurting her son’s pit bull, but she refused. “Eventually she bit Pedro’s acorns clean off right there in the front yard,” a witness said. “Pedro hightailed it screeching like
Man Eating Hamburger Attacked By Meat-Suit Wearing Vegetarian
BOISE, Idaho – Brad Burns was playing in Veterans Memorial Park with his two Chihuahuas when he witnessed a man dressed in a ‘meat suit’ attack another man eating a hamburger. “I saw the meat man run at the guy full force and knock him off the picnic table,” Burns said. “My first instinct was to run because I
Man Pleads Guilty To Manslaughter After Killing His Stepfather With An “Atomic Wedgie”
Brad Lee Davis, 34, pled guilty to manslaughter this week according to the Oklahoma Times for killing his stepfather with an ‘atomic wedgie.’ An atomic wedgie is the slang name for an extreme version of the common underwear-yanking prank that bullies are known to use in schools across America. The victim,
4 Reasons Women Should Only Be Allowed To Wear Dresses
Robert Panel feels women should be LEGALLY required to wear dresses. Obviously, there isn’t a lawmaker in the United States who would get behind legislation forcing women to wear dresses, but this is what he wants to see happen anyway. We talked to Mr. Panel via Skype to discover the reasons why he holds this belief: 1. Women Look Sexy In
Woman Lists All The Hilarious Things Her Sleep-Talking Mother Says And She Sounds Mental
Alexa from Jacksonville, Florida emailed this to us: I thought you guys would find this funny. My 82-year-old mom and I live in a one-bedroom apartment and share a bunk bed. She’s on the bottom bunk. I’m on the top — so I hear a lot of the crazy ass stuff she says in her sleep.
Pregnant Man Successfully Gets Welfare
AUSTIN, Texas – Top Right News reported a Texas man, unable to work because of his pregnancy, successfully applied for and received public assistance. He is allegedly earning $3,500 per month plus food subsidies and free medical services. Adam Smith, 42, seems to have been the lucky recipient of poor bureaucratic oversight, a clerical error or extremely lax standards. Texas officials have yet to
Seattle Man Claims He Is Kurt Cobain
SEATTLE – A Seattle man, who says he is Kurt Cobain, claims he did not die by a self-inflicted gunshot wound on April 5th, 1994. “It [suicide] was a way to get the media attention and all the stupid fans off my back so I could live in peace,” Cobain said. “But now I
Fred Phelps Statue Going Into Kansas Park
TOPEKA, Kansas – The Westboro Baptist Church just won’t stop making trouble, or being stupid. The controversial church purchased a small plot of land on the edge of Chesney Park in Topeka, Kansas and will erect a statue of their deceased founder, Fred Phelps. City leaders are helpless as there are no