PALM BEACH, Florida – The Gontchar family loved the 11 Muscovy ducklings that lived near their home in Wellington, Florida. They fed them daily and uploaded hundreds of photographs to social media websites. “They were a joy in our life,” Laura Gontchar told the Palm Beach Post. “So cute and happy. So full

GUILFORD TOWNSHIP — Pennsylvania State Police, Chambersburg, said officers responded at 12:08 a.m. to the 1700 block of LWE for a report that three women were speeding down U.S. 30 on Walmart scooters. Police chased the three women into the parking lot of a Super Shoes where the women abandoned the

By Kelly Broich Originally published as satire on Moron.com in 2015 Republished here to reflect original authorship and public record JACKSONVILLE, Florida – Geoff Gaylord, 37, entered the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office earlier today and turned himself in for killing his imaginary friend — Mr. Happy. Gaylord told officers he had

Baton Rouge, Louisiana – A 27-year-old woman was pulled over early morning due to a speeding violation. When Natasha Brown acted in a very suspicious manner officers decided to search her vehicle where they discovered $60,000 in cash. When officers asked her why she had such a large amount of

JACKSONVILLE, Florida – Tito and Amanda Watts were arrested over the weekend for selling “golden tickets to heaven” to hundreds of people. The couple, who sold the tickets on the street for $99.99 per ticket, told buyers the tickets were made from solid gold and each ticket reserved the buyer a spot in heaven —

WACO, Texas – Mercy Stayson, representing himself in court, brought a peculiar defense to his murder trial by blaming the violent killings of an elderly couple, John and Melinda Orr, on a monster. Mercy, who lived across the street from the Orr’s, said he saw a hairy, fanged 15 ft monster enter the couple’s home through

LOS ANGELES, California – Realtor Jon Base loves beautiful people, so much so, that is all he wants to see… at least, as much as possible. He and real estate development company, Painted Hills, Inc, plan to create a planned community in Los Angeles that only allows attractive residents. But is this legal?

The United States and China are in serious talks to build a 288 lane tunnel from San Francisco to Shanghai. This will be the greatest engineering feat in the history of humankind taking eighteen years to construct and, if approved, opening spring of 2035. “This is a great opportunity for

GILBERT, Arizona – 32-year-old, Harem Deeb, whose wife recently passed away couldn’t let her go. This is where Harem’s story takes a twisted turn. His wife, Lucy, was born with a heart condition that cut her life short at the young age of 29. Lucy’s last words to Harem were, “We will

Don’t mess with 33-year-old Melissa Dawn Sellers’ meatballs, she takes her Italian cuisine very seriously as her 42-year-old roommate Carlos Ortiz Jr found out. After a night of drinking, the two roommates began fighting at around 2:30 a.m. The two were arguing because apparently Carlos threw out Melissa’s spaghetti and