SPOKANE, WA — The Spokesman-Reviews reported Thomas Kammers, 42, is being held in the Spokane County Jail on a $5,000 bond after he was pulled over Monday afternoon near North Stevens Street and West Houston Avenue.

Kammers 1992 Honda was observed traveling on a completely flat tire with expired license plates and a missing passenger’s door.

The arresting deputy found a bag of white crystals in the car’s ashtray. Kammers told the officer it was “fake meth.”

Partial transcript from the field recording:

Kammers: I know it looks like meth, Mr. officer, but it’s fake meth. I’m meth addict…. (unintelligible). Alcoholics often still like to drink near beer just for the taste. I’m smoking fake meth… for… the… fake high.  It’s fake. 

Not believing the fake-meth story, the deputy field-tested the crystals for methamphetamine. They tested positive.

Kammers faces charges for drug possession and driving with a suspended license.