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New Drug Keeps Puppies And Kittens Little Forever

BOSTON –

There has been a huge demand over the years from pet owners to keep puppies and kittens cute and little forever. Sizere Pharmaceuticals of Boston have stepped up to fill that demand. For over ten years researches at the company have been developing a drug that successfully eliminates growth hormones in canines and felines.

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After using thousand of animals as test subjects, the company has finally perfected the drug with 100% positive results.

The revolutionary drug is surprisingly affordable at $99 a month.

“New drugs are usually marked up exorbitantly,” Sizere Pharmaceuticals marketing director, Tom Moore, said. “Companies try to make all they can before the patent expires and generics start offering the drug at much cheaper prices. But we’re pet owners and really feel for other pet owners’ desires to keep their animals adorable and little forever.”

Usage:

The drug requires daily intravenous injections into the animal. The company conveniently provides the drug, hypodermic needs, alcohol and latex gloves via mail-order every month.

Possible Side Effects Include:

Runny nose

Liver tumors

Diarrhea

Psychotic nightmares

Restless sleep

Reduced appetite

Convulsions

Mania

Depression

Bloody stool

Reduced lifespan. Typically the animal lives two to three years.

“We are working hard on extending lifespans as we know that will be a complaint,” Moore said. “We will always be reformulating to reduce side effects.”

The drug will be available summer of 2015.

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