GUILFORD TOWNSHIP — Pennsylvania State Police, Chambersburg, said officers responded at 12:08 a.m. to the 1700 block of LWE for a report that three women were speeding down U.S. 30 on Walmart scooters. Police chased the three women into the parking lot of a Super Shoes where the women abandoned the

By Kelly Broich Originally published as satire on Moron.com in 2015 Republished here to reflect original authorship and public record JACKSONVILLE, Florida – Geoff Gaylord, 37, entered the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office earlier today and turned himself in for killing his imaginary friend — Mr. Happy. Gaylord told officers he had

SEATTLE – A Seattle man, who says he is Kurt Cobain, claims he did not die by a self-inflicted gunshot wound on April 5th, 1994. “It [suicide] was a way to get the media attention and all the stupid fans off my back so I could live in peace,” Cobain said. “But now I

SAN JOSE – The Tate Institute was formed by Jim Tate, a gay San Jose, California relationship counselor who wanted to help heterosexuals become homosexuals. The idea was sparked when Jim Tate saw reparative therapy clinics attempting to turn homosexuals straight. “I saw reparative therapy and thought if they are having so much success… why can’t I do the

IRVINE, California – Taco Bell and the Catholic Church have entered into an agreement to put Taco Bell restaurants inside select Catholic churches in Mexico. The Catholic Church reportedly will receive a percentage of gross sales and Taco Bell hopes to gain the trust factor the Catholic Church brings. Above: Taco Bell being built

IDAHO FALLS – Winter campers, Tom and Mellisa Elbert, received a shock when they saw a Siberian tiger chasing a deer through the woods in eastern Idaho. The young couple had snow-shoed into the Idaho side of the Teton Mountains and were sitting in their camp when the tiger ran by chasing the deer. The deer and

FLINT, Michigan –   46-year old Randolf Turner, manager of a Wendy’s restaurant in Michigan, is accused of stealing more than 32 tons of bacon from his employer over the last four years. The man intercepted 20 to 250 kilograms of meat per week from shipments destined to his restaurant. The

The United States and China are in serious talks to build a 288 lane tunnel from San Francisco to Shanghai. This will be the greatest engineering feat in the history of humankind taking eighteen years to construct and, if approved, opening spring of 2035. “This is a great opportunity for