MARTIN COUNTY, Florida — Gary Linman of Hobe Sound, Florida really needed a ride home. He dialed 911 from a payphone (they sill have those?) to get that ride. —— 911 call transcript: 911: 911. What’s your emergency? Linman: This 911? 911: Yes. How may I help you? Linman: I got an emergencies. I

SENOIA, GA KCT5 News reported that a Georgia man, John Paul Jones, Jr, didn’t accidently plow his truck into his house because his foot slipped off the gas pedal. He did it on purpose. “I don’t know, it was just one of those spur of the moment crazy things,” said Jones. Jones is a

CLEVELAND, Ohio – Adam Moulson kidnapped an unidentified African-American woman this morning, but was quickly apprehended by police after he crashed his red Volkswagen Beetle into, ironically, another red Volkswagen Beetle while trying to get away. “He enticed the woman with a large candy cane,” an officer with Cleveland Police said. “Once the victim was near his window he threw

ORLANDO – Jerry Hartman said his puppy, Jack, and his adult cat, Sparkles, have been engaged in a steamy sexual relationship for the last two months. The affair apparently started when Hartman came home one day to find his dog and cat doing it “human style” — i.e., missionary position. “Jack was penetrating Sparkles on the

SEATTLE – A Seattle man, who says he is Kurt Cobain, claims he did not die by a self-inflicted gunshot wound on April 5th, 1994. “It [suicide] was a way to get the media attention and all the stupid fans off my back so I could live in peace,” Cobain said. “But now I

WACO, Texas – Mercy Stayson, representing himself in court, brought a peculiar defense to his murder trial by blaming the violent killings of an elderly couple, John and Melinda Orr, on a monster. Mercy, who lived across the street from the Orr’s, said he saw a hairy, fanged 15 ft monster enter the couple’s home through

MINOT, North Dakota – North Dakota hunters killed over 12,000 ducks last week near Minot as part of what they called “a mercy killing.” “Due to unusually cold weather the ducks were having trouble finding food,” United States Fish & Wildlife spokesman Newt Gastin said. “These hunters took it upon themselves to

BOSTON – There has been a huge demand over the years from pet owners to keep puppies and kittens cute and little forever. Sizere Pharmaceuticals of Boston have stepped up to fill that demand. For over ten years researches at the company have been developing a drug that successfully eliminates growth hormones in canines and felines. After