By Kelly Broich Originally published as satire on Moron.com in 2015 Republished here to reflect original authorship and public record JACKSONVILLE, Florida – Geoff Gaylord, 37, entered the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office earlier today and turned himself in for killing his imaginary friend — Mr. Happy. Gaylord told officers he had

Baton Rouge, Louisiana – A 27-year-old woman was pulled over early morning due to a speeding violation. When Natasha Brown acted in a very suspicious manner officers decided to search her vehicle where they discovered $60,000 in cash. When officers asked her why she had such a large amount of

WACO, Texas – Mercy Stayson, representing himself in court, brought a peculiar defense to his murder trial by blaming the violent killings of an elderly couple, John and Melinda Orr, on a monster. Mercy, who lived across the street from the Orr’s, said he saw a hairy, fanged 15 ft monster enter the couple’s home through

TOPEKA, Kansas – The Westboro Baptist Church just won’t stop making trouble, or being stupid. The controversial church purchased a small plot of land on the edge of Chesney Park in Topeka, Kansas and will erect a statue of their deceased founder, Fred Phelps. City leaders are helpless as there are no

AUSTIN, Texas – A 20-year veteran of the U.S. Postal Office, Casey Brown, 44, was arrested Monday morning when federal agents raided his Austin apartment recovering 75,000 stolen Netflix DVDs. Brown had been pilfering DVDs since Netflix started its once popular home DVD delivery service. Police wouldn’t detail how they caught Brown other than it involved an elaborate surveillance effort including

IDAHO FALLS – Winter campers, Tom and Mellisa Elbert, received a shock when they saw a Siberian tiger chasing a deer through the woods in eastern Idaho. The young couple had snow-shoed into the Idaho side of the Teton Mountains and were sitting in their camp when the tiger ran by chasing the deer. The deer and

Vicksburg – Rupert the Alligator, who weighed a whopping 1700 lbs, was the oldest known animal on planet earth at nearly 500 years old. Last week, he accidently escaped from a sanctuary who houses old or ailing animals and, unfortunately, Rupert decided to take refuge under a children’s trampoline in the backyard of

PHOENIX, Arizona – Gastin’s Grocery, located in the Phoenix suburb of Gilbert, has been struggling against grocery giants like Walmart and Albertsons in recent years. With sales down 30% this past year CEO Ryan Gastin knew something critical had to be done. That is when he took a hard look at his employees and noticed most were

FLINT, Michigan –   46-year old Randolf Turner, manager of a Wendy’s restaurant in Michigan, is accused of stealing more than 32 tons of bacon from his employer over the last four years. The man intercepted 20 to 250 kilograms of meat per week from shipments destined to his restaurant. The

LOS ANGELES – Inside, it’s a charming cafe done in yellow and pink with off-kilter menu selections like peanut butter banana chocolate waffles, little princess pink lemonade cupcakes and cucumber raisin cinnamon ice cream. However, on the outside, the charm gives way to controversy. The name of the eatery? No Illegals