SOMERSET, Pa. —  Okay, get this… a Pennsylvania man — who was drunk — set up a drunk-driving checkpoint complete with road flares and pretended he was a State patrolman named Officer Superman. State troopers say Logan Shaulis, 19, diagonally parked his Mazda Miata across state Route 601 and set up road flares about

This is what happens when you let baby squirrels drive.

MARTIN COUNTY, Florida — Gary Linman of Hobe Sound, Florida really needed a ride home. He dialed 911 from a payphone (they sill have those?) to get that ride. —— 911 call transcript: 911: 911. What’s your emergency? Linman: This 911? 911: Yes. How may I help you? Linman: I got an emergencies. I

PALM BEACH, Florida – The Gontchar family loved the 11 Muscovy ducklings that lived near their home in Wellington, Florida. They fed them daily and uploaded hundreds of photographs to social media websites. “They were a joy in our life,” Laura Gontchar told the Palm Beach Post. “So cute and happy. So full

GUILFORD TOWNSHIP — Pennsylvania State Police, Chambersburg, said officers responded at 12:08 a.m. to the 1700 block of LWE for a report that three women were speeding down U.S. 30 on Walmart scooters. Police chased the three women into the parking lot of a Super Shoes where the women abandoned the

SARASOTA, Fla. — Timothy Bontrager, 29, has been charged with felony burglary of an occupied dwelling after breaking into a home, filling a pillow case with jewelry and ‘pet toys’ and then falling asleep in a running shower. The homeowner told police she heard the water running in her guest bathroom around

MADISON, West Virginia – Witnesses told police this week that they pleaded with Boone county resident, Audrey Ranch, 62, to stop hurting her son’s pit bull, but she refused. “Eventually she bit Pedro’s acorns clean off right there in the front yard,” a witness said. “Pedro hightailed it screeching like

BOISE, Idaho – Brad Burns was playing in Veterans Memorial Park with his two Chihuahuas when he witnessed a man dressed in a ‘meat suit’ attack another man eating a hamburger. “I saw the meat man run at the guy full force and knock him off the picnic table,” Burns said. “My first instinct was to run because I

Brad Lee Davis, 34, pled guilty to manslaughter this week according to the Oklahoma Times for killing his stepfather with an ‘atomic wedgie.’ An atomic wedgie is the slang name for an extreme version of the common underwear-yanking prank that bullies are known to use in schools across America. The victim,

By Kelly Broich Originally published as satire on Moron.com in 2015 Republished here to reflect original authorship and public record JACKSONVILLE, Florida – Geoff Gaylord, 37, entered the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office earlier today and turned himself in for killing his imaginary friend — Mr. Happy. Gaylord told officers he had